Monday, August 23, 2010

Ebon Knight #1 (p. 9)

Previous Scene: Page 8

PANEL 1
Angus looks up from the business card to see Sylvia open the door. Outside, three rough looking men embodying the gangster stereotype  can be seen. Their smiles are not particularly friendly looking. 

SYLVIA: And here's my ride.

PANEL 2
Close up of the three mobsters. The leader is a muscular blond with a crew cut. To his right is a youthful, grinning red-head with a face full of freckles. To the leader's left is an alien or mutant with beady eyes, snaggleteeth, big ears, and an over-sized bald head. He is also at least a foot shorter than the leader.

LEAD TOUGH: Hope we're not interrupting anything.

PANEL 3 (below panel 1)
A sepia-tinted panel that vaguely resembles Panel #1. Ebon Knight is fighting with a crowd of knife-wielding thugs when a door slams open to reveal three shadowy figures. He looks up in surprise.

PANEL 4 (below panel 2)
A sepia-tinted panel that is very similar to Panel #2. The three thugs are standing in a doorway but this time the humans have tommy guns drawn and the mutant/alien has his fingers on his forehead as if he is lost in extreme concentration.

LEAD TOUGH (different quality to speech balloon): Ebon Knight! Hope we're not interrupting anything!

PANEL 5
Wearing only boxer shorts, Angus stands to confront the thugs, visibly straining to keep is anger in check.

ANGUS (through clenched teeth): Not at all. I think the fun's over.

PANEL 6
Close-up of Sylvia standing at the doorway in front of the leering thugs, looking back over her shoulder with a hint of sympathy. 

LEAD THUG: Don't get all hot-and-bothered, Mr. MacTavish. We're just here to look after our girl. See you around.

***
NOTES (Mythic conventions detailed here)

CHAOS FACTOR:  7

CHARACTER LIST:
1. Thug 1
2. Mugsy
3. Sylvia Franco
4. Mr. Ferrazzo
5. Person(s) knocking at Angus' door

THREAD LIST: 
1. Discover what's in the box and properly dispose of it
2. Get medical help for Sylvia
3. Put a stop to Mr. Ferrazzo's criminal activities
4. Resolve the circumstances of the first scene (why Angus and Sylvia would end up fighting in the alley).
5. Meeting at Silver Moon Airships

EXPECTED SCENE: A new NPC is introduced as Angus opens his door. I'll ask the FATE chart for details about the nature of the encounter, though the "Mistrust Outside" Event Meaning should still hold. 

SCENE IS ALTERED SLIGHTLY: There is more than one person at the door.

Q: Are the people at the door associates of Sylvia [50/50]? Extreme yes. 

I theorize that Sylvia might be working for a criminal gang (she's playing them or they have something on her). Alternatively, her associates might not really be a criminal gang... perhaps a Benandanti operation or even a group of established adventurers.

I don't want to give away too much, so I'll stick to things that Angus (and a theoretical reader of the comic) can actually observe.

PANEL 1
Q: Are there at least two stock mobster-looking guys [50/50]? Yes (close to extreme, so I'll say three guys).

Q: Does the "mistrust" apply to the feeling that these guys appear to have towards Sylvia [Unlikely]? Extreme no! Interesting, these guys (seem to) totally trust Sylvia. Rather, it's gotta be between Angus and mobsters.

Q: Does Angus recognize them as local criminals [Somewhat Likely]? Extreme yes. Indeed, he's been up against them before as Ebon Knight!

Q: Is Sylvia surprised or annoyed to see the mobsters [Unlikely given the level of trust]? No.

Ok, now we have enough to start writing this page. 

Q: Do the mobsters let on that they suspect anything about Angus being the Ebon Knight [No way]? No. 

PANEL 2
Zoom in on the mobsters. I suspect these guys will be important later in the story, so they need distinctive features. Pulling some random images off my hard-drive I get: 1) skinny freckled Irishman, 2) tough looking Pole with a crew-cut (leader), 3) a short alien humanoid with an oversized bald head, snaggle teeth, and big ears (drew an image of a Ferengi from Star Trek).

PANELS 3 & 4
Need a couple of flashback panels to show that Ebon Knight has confronted the three thugs before. Since we're already in flashback, I don't want extend this beyond a couple of panels. We don't have to resolve much of their first encounter, suffice to say it was violent.

PANEL 5
Angus' reaction.

Q: Does Angus know or believe that the mutant is a mind-reader [50/50]? Yes.
Q: Did he successfully fend off a previous mind-reading attempt in the earlier encounter [Unlikely]? No. No mind-reading attempt was detected, but I wouldn't rule out a mental blast. It's entirely possible that the mutant/alien doesn't read minds at all and only has mental blasts or other mind powers.

How would Angus react? Sylvia has basically accused him of stealing and has implied that she might blackmail him if he doesn't play ball. He's not going to be in a good mood. Having fought these guys as Ebon Knight confirms all his negative feelings. But he'd be revealing his secret identity if he admitted that he knows these guys. In fact, given that he suspects the mutant of being a mind-reader, he's going to try to play it cool (and attempt think of something else.)

PANEL 6
To complete the symmetry, we'll have a bit of dialog from Sylvia or the thugs.

Q: Does the lead thug say the parting words [50/50]? Yes.

RANDOM EVENT: New NPC, "Kill Status Quo". I'll lead off the next scene with this event.

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